Sunday, December 28, 2014

PTSD - What It's Really Like.

Post Tramatic Stress Disorder: 

With PTSD, the body's response to a stressful event is changed. Normally, after the event, the body recovers. The stress hormones and chemicals the body releases due to the stress go back to normal levels. For some reason in a person with PTSD, the body keeps releasing the stress hormones and chemicals.
PTSD can occur at any age. It can occur after events such as:
  • Assault
  • Car accidents
  • Domestic abuse
  • Natural disasters
  • Prison stay
  • Sexual assault
  • Terrorism
  • War

Abuse. That is why I suffer from PTSD. Previous posts explain it more, but I'm here to tell you about what it is 'really' like.

You feel alone. No matter what kind of support you have, you feel like you are feeling all of this all alone. You feel like no one knows anything what you are feeling.


Trying to forget everything you have been through, but can't compleyly forget. 

With PTSD, you crave love and attention in a way that normal people don't. 
You look for love anywhere & everywhere. 

You ignore the ones around you, the ones that don't really talk to you, and instead, go looking for someone that will show you the feeling that you are looking to get. 

You send pictures of your body to make yourself feel better. 
You drink so much that you honestly don't remember taking or sending the pictures. 

It's heartbreaking when you really think about it. 

Your relationships are damaged. 
The person that you are with is like a stranger. 
(Mainly because you don't push them to listen to you)

You always feel like you're not good enough.
For anything.
You feel that you don't deserve friends.
You feel that you don't deserve love.
Hell, it makes you wonder if you can really love.
If you are even worthy of being loved.

PTSD sucks. There is no other way of putting it.
It's a struggle that takes what feels like forever to heal from.

I always thought that PTSD was something that
only military vets had.
I never thought that everything that I was feeling would be because of this.

But, I have it.
I have to deal with it.
It's going to be really tough, but I have to believe I can overcome it.

No matter how long it takes. 

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